by The Guidance Counselor’s Crystal Ball Is Just A Snow Globe From The Gift Shop
Students seeking life advice from guidance counselor Mrs. Perkins were shocked to discover her famed “future-telling crystal ball” is actually a $4.99 souvenir from the Grand Canyon gift shop. “When she told me I’d ‘have a bright future in the snow globe industry,’ I should have been suspicious,” said senior Jason Miller, now reconsidering his entire college application strategy.
Mrs. Perkins defends her methods: “The swirling glitter creates a Rorschach effect that reveals your true destiny – or at least which state schools are still accepting applications.” The school psychologist has requested the snow globe for “further study,” though witnesses report he’s just using it to make paperweight races more interesting during staff meetings.
